Thursday, August 28, 2008

Seasons are changing

Lately it's been rainy. Cloudy and overcast with bits of scattered sunshine appearing every now and then. I love it when it's cloudy. I find it very soothing. Although it is still as hot as ever the seasons are indeed changing. I can't help but think about my life and the seasons I've seen thus far and the seasons I know will surely come. School is back. This is a season of my life I'm becoming somewhat tired of. I just wish I was finished already, or at least close to finishing. Sometimes I feel so helpless and hopeless. I get so down on myself. I'll never amount to anything close to an artist. And now there's this little mortgage in my name. Crazy, I don't feel old enough, experienced enough to be in this season. Where's my identity?

School is confusing. I listen intently to the lectures of my professors and I don't get it. How can the world be so confused. Why is the world such a confusing place? I can't understand the figures of our troubled history of man. I feel like I should understand more, be able to see more clearly and discerningly into the hearts and motives of men passed on before me. Why do we riot? How does a person's search for happiness and worth and goodness become so obsessive and perverse?

The seasons are indeed changing. I feel it in the cloudy air. Things will never be the same tomorrow. But then I think, when has tomorrow ever promised not to change? The world spins and spins. Millions of people will sleep, breathe, and wake up as confused as ever.

Oh a brighter note, my husband is fabulous. I don't want to get all cheesy or corny but he is truly wonderful. His smile, his laugh, his arms, his lips. He's my whole entire world. When I think of him I realize it doesn't really matter how confused everyone around us may become. He's enough. Life doesn't look so muddy.

I have this sudden and odd obsession with anything by the Beatles. "Blackbird fly..." I probably shouldn't be too surprised. I spent nearly of last semester in time warp. The Sixties is a time that really fascinates me. The more I learn the more questions I have. The longing to understand doubles. Maybe somethings aren't meant to fully understand. People worry me when they've convinced themselves that they've got it all figured out.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

I hope they call me on a mission

My little brother is being set apart as a missionary today. He's going to serve the people of Paraguay. I'm really gonna miss him. I know that he is going to be extremely blessed and will grow to amazing new heights. It will be hard not being able to see him for two years. I'm also excited for him. This is a huge step in his life. I'm so happy he's willing to serve the Lord. I can't wait to hear about all his stories and send him packages. I love him so much. I know he's going to make an awesome missionary. I guess I'm just writing this blog to try and comfort myself.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Summer of Love

I am so excited for the summer! Mostly because I won't be in school! I will admit that I have learned quite a bit this semester. I feel my photography has greatly improved with the technical aspects that I've been studying. Visual Culture is a daunting class. I have a 12 page paper due in a couple of weeks that I have yet to start writing. Tonight's the night I'll start!

This summer Nate and I will be living with his parents! Some of my friends are quite surprised that I'd even consider moving in with my in-laws. That's not a knock on them in any shape or form either. They're wonderful, loving people and I'm sure we are going to have a great summer. My friends just know how independent I think I am. Nate and I are having a house built! We are so so excited. It will hopefully (cross your fingers for us) be done by the end of the summer. In a week or two we'll be picking out colors with the builder's designer! So in preparation for my very own home, I will be starting a design notebook. This notebook will hold ideas, images, measurements, and general design information. I'm so excited!

I'm also looking forward to focus more closely on two things this summer: Nate and art. Nate and I will play a lot of tennis this summer, and that's exactly how things should be. We both love being active and outdoors, it's just so hard to find the time for it during the semester. Trips to White Sands and Cloudcroft are sure to be in store. I'm also looking forward to all the fun things (like shopping for furniture and appliances) that we'll get to do together in preparation for our home. I recently entered three of my digitally altered photographs into a silent art auction put on as a fundraiser for one of the colleges on campus. All three sold! I was quite surprised. I'm anxious to make more art, research more ways to show and sell it, and try to create some sort of website to publicise my work. Nate is also very excited for me. He's such a wonderful husband and friend. I'm so lucky he picked me.

"I've got my 45 on so I can rock on" -Soak Up the Sun Sheryl Crow

So in keeping with the design mood, here's some tips I've picked up from the Home and Garden Television Website.

Tips on how to design a great room:
1. Know what you want from a room
2. Remember who lives there
3. Learn what pleases your senses
4. Snag photos from design magazines and keep a notebook of ideas
5. Keep size in mind when buying furniture
6. Go with your flow, work with similar tones and themes
7. Focus on one great piece
8. Formulate a plan, keep key measurements and running shopping list to use for comparisons
9. Shop around, don't buy everything matching from the same store
10. Be fresh, not faddish, avoid trendy patterns on expensive pieces, choose neutral colors for large upholstered pieces (like your sofa)
11. Light it up, variety of lighting in every room
12. Make it personal, room should be a reflection of your style, buy original art work

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

God weeps

This semester I'm taking Visual Culture of the 1960's. In an attempt to understand the context of the visual culture we are studying the history, movements, and key figures of the decade. My heart is continually saddened as I read of the terrible events of injustice and hatred. My eyes swell with tears as I watch my brothers and sisters beaten and spit upon because of the color of their skin or the ideals they hold. I'm amazed that this country survived. Now I know that this country is not perfect, never has been, and I'll probably never live to see the day that is. As I dwell on the hatred and utter fear driven chaos of those times and similar times today, I feel so small. As I see corrupt and power hungry individuals pollute the ideals of hope and freedom tears fall freely down my cheeks. What have they done to my America? I am just one person, how can I change the world? How can I make a difference? The answer is sweet and simple, even abtainable. I will love. I will love my fellowman. I will love my family. I will love my children, and teach them that love and charity, the pure love of Christ, is our only chance at change. No government agency can offer that. I thank my dearest Heavenly Father that I was born to parents who love.

Monday, February 18, 2008

The Kitchen's a Mess

This Just In...
Wow, a whole year later and here I stand. Guess what? I got married! I married my AMF, Nathan. And life is wonderful. Being married is absolutely the greatest. No awkward situations with roommates. Someone to hold me every night. Someone to hold every night. Sleeping in is better than ever. I love who we are partners in everything. This is a fine romance. We got married on Jan. 4th in the Albuquerque Temple. It was the most beautiful experience of my life. I know that sounds rather cliche, but there's no other words. It was lovely. I've been adopted into a wonderful family. I have tons of nieces and nephews and they all are adorable! I can't wait till I can get to know them even more.

The Artist
Well I'm still chipping away at the degree. This semester I'm taking my first photography class, finally. Actually, I'm taking too. One from the Art dept. and another from the Jour. dept., both introductory classes. I'm really enjoying those. In the past few weeks I've felt really frustrated with the work I've been producing. I don't feel it's the best I can do. I feel guilty for not being able to devote as much time as I should be. Some days I feel downright talentless. I know I'm being too hard on myself, but I just want it so bad. Film processing and printing are sure fun though!